dream attack
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Glaswegian Ladies. ;)A Glesga Burd goes tae the social tae register fur child benefit.
How many children?' asks the civil servant.
10' replies the girl.
10???' says the civil servant. 'What are their names?'
Alec, Alec, Alec, Alec, Alec, Alec, Alec, Alec, Alec and.....eh...Alec
Doesn't that get confusing?'
'Naw...' says the girl 'its great because if thur oot playin in
The street, ah jist huv tae shout ALEC, YER DINNER'S READY or ALEC,
GO TO BED NOW 'n' they aw dae it...'
What if you want to speak to one individually?' says the perturbed civil
servant.
''at's easy,' says the girl...
'Ah just use thur surnames'
A Glesga burd walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a
Garment on the counter.
Ah'll be back ra morra efternin tae pick up ma dress.' She says.
Come again?' says the clerk, cupping his ear.
'Naw' she replies.
'This time it's mayonnaise.'
A Glesga burd enters a sex shop & asks for a vibrator.
The man says 'Choose from our range on the wall.'
She says 'Gies that rid yin'
The man replies 'That's a fire extinguisher.'
A Glesga burd is involved in a nasty car crash and is trapped and bleeding.
The paramedics soon arrive on site.
Medic: 'It's OK I'm a paramedic and I'm going to ask you some questions?'
Girl: 'OK'
Medic: 'What's your name?'
Girl: 'Morag.'
Medic: 'Morag, is this your car?'
Morag: 'Yes.'
Medic: 'Where are you bleeding from?'
Morag: 'Springburn.'
A Glesga burd was driving down the M8 when her car phone rang.
It was her boyfriend, urgently warning her, 'Listen Doll, I
Just heard on the news that thur's a motor gawn the wrang wie oan the M8.
Better watch yersel'!'
It's no' jist wan motor!' said the girl,
'There's fu***n' hunners o'them!'
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